A: Dear Drew,

Most reception centres will offer you a ‘package deal’ on your function which includes food, drinks and, sometimes, music. Generally, this will cost between $40 and $100 per head, however, because this is an all-inclusive deal, it would be very hard to ascertain exactly how much you were paying for the reception centre itself. What would probably be best is that you pick a few reception centres you like and then compare costs per head for the entire function. Naturally, the pricing will change with the kind of function you have - a simple cocktail and hors d’oeuvres reception will be far less expensive than a seafood buffet.

A: Dear Kerry,

By all means have three bridesmaids, they are all special and important people in your lives and no-one will think twice if you ask them to be bridesmaids on your special day. What is important is that you celebrate your day how you want and with who you want. I recently read of a wedding where the bride had already chosen three bridesmaids but the groom wanted his sister to be included in the wedding party too. Do you know what they did? They made her a groomsman - these days anything goes!

A: Dear Kylie,

What a wonderful idea! My first thought would be to call it something like a ‘family celebration’ and carry this theme through the day. Maybe the invitation wording could invite guests to celebrate in the family’s special day and then go on to explain that the day will include both the wedding and the christening. It would also be a nice touch to include a poem or reading about families and how important they are. I am not quite sure about the legalities of melding the two ceremonies together, as certain parts of the wedding ceremony will have to be performed in order, so it would be best to ask the minister about this aspect.

A: Dear Leanne,

I’m afraid that the bride does usually dance with many people at the reception. You will be the highlight of the day and everyone will want attention from you! Really, the only way to get around this would be not to have any dancing at all. If you do want to have dancing at your reception, maybe you could take a few dancing lessons to build your confidence and prepare you for the big day.

A: Following is a list of flowers in season for Spring and Summer. It would be best to ask your florist about the availability of gerberas and freesias as even when flowers are not in season you may still be able to procure them. If you want to cut costs on your flower bill, remember that it is less expensive to use flowers that are readily available and in season.

Azaleas
Blushing Bride
Calla Lilies
Camelias
Cornflowers
Cymbidium orchids
Dahlias
Daisies
Delphiniums
Freesias
Gardenias
Gladioli

A: Dear Natalie,

The best thing to do would be to grab the Yellow Pages and phone a few celebrants. They will be more than happy to discuss their costs with you and what you would like for your wedding day.

A: Dear Christy,

You are in luck! Showers are an American tradition and, therefore, they do not seem to change much around the world. Maybe you could have an Australian theme to the shower and serve some vegemite sandwiches for an Australian touch!

A: Dear David and Rachal,

I think you will find that most celebrants will be immaculately presented, making the most of their appearance for your wedding ceremony. However, if you are a bit concerned, it would be best to choose a short-list of three celebrants that you feel comfortable talking to on the phone and then arrange to meet them in person. This way you won’t have to run around after numerous celebrants but you will feel confident of their abilities and appearance on your wedding day.

A: Dear Dan,

This could be a tricky situation! I think it would be best for you to take over the organising if things are not moving fast enough. Remember to be honest with your best man and his wife, however, be tactful as well and sugar-coat your words a little. Maybe you could tell them that you will need so much of their help in organising the wedding it would be unfair to have them plan the whole engagement party as well. Tell them that you want to be part of the planning committee. By doing this they still have the option to help you plan, but you can steer everything in the right direction and keep things moving.

A: Dear Annette,

First, try phoning around some of the bigger craft stores. Even if they don’t have what you are looking for they may be able to steer you in the right direction. There are also many cake decorating associations around that may be able to give you a tip or two on your quest!

A: Dear Peter,

The legal requirements for marrying in Australia are listed in the Federal Marriage Act (1961). In summary, you need to lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage with your officiant not less than one month and one day before your wedding. You will need to provide your birth certificates or passports and, if you have been married before, evidence that your previous marriage has been terminated. A few weeks before the wedding you will have to sign a Declaration of Marriage, which is to confirm that there is no reason the marriage cannot take place. After the marriage service you will need to sign the wedding certificate and a form that will be lodged with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages in the state you were married in. It would be a good idea to choose where you would like to be married and then contact an officiant in this area. They will be able to guide you every step of the way!

A: Dear Ginger,

I found the lyrics for ‘I’ll always be right there’ on the official Bryan Adams web-site:

I'LL ALWAYS BE RIGHT THERE

Written by: B. Adams/R.J. Lange/M. Kamen
Published by: Badams Music Ltd./Zomba Music International/
K'Man Corps/Sony Music
© 1996 All Rights Reserved

I swear to you - I will always be there for you - there's nothin' I won't do
I promise you - all my life I will live for you - we will make it through
Forever - we will be
Together - you and me
Oh n' when I hold ya - nothin' can compare
With all of my heart - ya know I'll always be - right there

I believe in us - nothin' else could ever mean so much
You're the one I trust our time has come - we're not two people
Now - we are one - ya you're second to none
Forever - we will be
Together - a family

The more I get to know ya - nothin' can compare
With all of my heart - ya know I'll always be - right there

Forever - we will be
Together - just you and me

The more I get to know ya - the more I really care
With all of my heart - ya know I'll always be...
Ya know I really love ya - ya nothin' can compare
For all of my life - ya know I'll always be - right there

(Written for the Motion Picture "101 Dalmatians")

A: Dear Lin,

Unfortunately the lyrics for ‘Could I have this dance’ do not appear to be on the web. You could try visiting the Anne Murray Centre http://www.grtplaces.com/ac/anne they may be able to help you!

A. Dear Robert,

Changing the timing of your wedding is the best way to save money all around. The reception will be the most costly part of your wedding and one of the least expensive receptions would be to have either a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres, or cake and punch style, reception at home. This way you would save money on a venue and you will not have to serve a full sit-down meal. However, this is only a good idea if you will be having less than 50 guests. Many couples are now finding that having their reception at an inexpensive BYO restaurant is a good way to save money as it is far less expensive than hiring a reception venue where you have to pay for drinks. If you would like to hire a reception venue, you could save money by having your reception at an off-peak time. For example, a reception on a Friday night would be cheaper than a reception on a Saturday night. An afternoon tea on a Sunday would be cheaper still.

Concerning the other costs associated with your wedding, the bride and groom might like to buy or borrow a secondhand gown and suit, and the bridesmaids might like to help out by arranging the flowers themselves. If you enlist the help of your friends and stick to a budget it is quite easy to have a less expensive wedding that is still everything you wanted.

A. Dear Melissa,

If you are stuck for ideas, I think it would be best to spend a day or two looking around some of the larger bridal boutiques. It might be best to call first and find out if they have a good range of outfits for flowergirls. If you would like something simple, you might like to design their dresses yourself. For example, a plain coloured dress with a large sash is a simple design, but always looks lovely.

Q. I know this is a strange question, but much debate has been raised over it! Could you please tell us the significance of flicking the garter? Kelvin, Sydney.

A. Dear Ken,

Traditionally, the bachelor party is held to mourn the groom's departure from bachelorhood and is a men only affair. The best man organises the night and it is paid for by the best man and the groomsmen.

There are a few new trends concerning bachelor parties in the 90s that you might like to know about. Some grooms, regaled with horror stories of other men put on planes and trains a few short hours before their wedding, are choosing different sorts of parties. One idea is to take your mates go-kart racing, parachuting or on some other adrenalin pumping activity!

Many couples are now deciding not to have 'buck's' and 'hen's' nights at all. One popular idea is to hold a joint party at a nice restaurant, and have a couple of close friends make speeches. Another idea is to book a beach or country house for the weekend, and to have the party there. A party like this will enable you to spend some quality time with your friends before the wedding. Whatever kind of party you hold, make sure it is at least a week before your wedding date.

As for the best man's speech, he should first thank the groom for honouring him with his role in the wedding. Then, he should tell a lighthearted story or two about his relationship with the groom and make a few comments about the couple's courtship. He may also read faxes from guests who could not make it to the wedding.

A. Dear Kelvin,

Apparently the tradition comes from North England. In years past, young men used to try and grab the bride's garter as she left the church. However, in these times, ribbons were usually worn as they were easier to remove. At the reception, the young men who had been lucky enough to procure a ribbon would pin it to their suit. Some brides, scared of being mobbed, would stuff ribbons in their tops and throw them to the young men! Nowadays, flicking the garter seems to have the same significance as the tossing of the bride's bouquet. The single young male guests are called forward and the groom flicks the garter - whoever catches it will be the next to marry.

A. Dear Joanne,

In Brisbane, you might like to try Antioch Clothiers who use authentic patterns and construction techniques to produce historical clothing. Allgoods, Brides and Lace and Anna Marie and Mr John also have a selection of historical clothes. As for medieval traditions and wording, the following site may help you as it contains a number of articles and tips for people having historical weddings, be they medieval, renaissance or viking weddings  http://paul.spu.edu/~kst/bib/bib.html

A. Dear Sharyn,

Many brides are now choosing to wear their wedding dress from the reception rather than change into a going-away outfit. Usually this is because they love their gown and also because a going-away outfit is simply another expense that they must deal with. However, some brides still like to change into a going-away outfit. I don't think this is really an 'etiquette' issue anymore. If you would like to wear your gown, do so. In the 90s, no-one will notice anything but how beautiful you look!

A. Dear Claudia,

An online gift registry is a great idea! Gift registries of all kinds are becoming more and more common these days and I doubt you will find that any of your guests will be upset that you want one. Do make sure, however, that you choose gifts with a wide range of prices to suit all your guest's budgets. I would suggest that you create your own personal 'wedding homepage' where you can keep your guests up-to-date with your wedding plans and create a list of gifts you would like, or provide them with a link to an actual online registry you have joined.

A. Dear Fiona,

Changing your name can be a tiring business! However, most businesses these days have special forms for you to fill out concerning this matter. Remember to take a certified copy of your wedding certificate with you, as some businesses may require a sighting of it.

Use the following checklist as a reminder for name and address changes:

Employer
Passport
Banks
Insurance policies
Superannuation scheme
Credit cards
Driver's licence
Car registration
Car insurance
Medical Funds
University/College
Titles
Leases
Doctor
Dentist
Will
Magazine subscriptions
Club memberships (gym/video etc.)

A. Dear Peter,

At the reception, the Master of Ceremonies (MC) should introduce him/herself to the function manager. He/she should arrange such things as when champagne will be required for the toasts and a knife to cut the cake with. The MC should also make sure the musicians or DJ have appropriate music ready for the bridal waltz.

Your MC should introduce him/herself at the start of the reception and welcome your guests to the festivities. Then, once dessert has been served, the MC should begin the speeches and toasts by gaining your guests' attention. Firstly, the bride's father will be called upon to propose a toast. When he has done this, the MC will ask the guests to join him/her in a toast to the couple's future health and happiness. After the groom's and best man's speeches, the MC should propose a toast to the bride's parents, then to the groom's parents.

A. Dear Janelle,

With hair to your chin, you should be able to have an up-style. I think it would be best to consult your hairdresser who will have numerous pictures and ideas to share with you on hair styles that will suit you and your dress. If you will be wearing a veil or headpiece, it is very important that you take this with you to the hairdresser.

Concerning having a more personalised ceremony, adding your own views and thoughts of your love, and of your future life together, will be sure to give a touching intimacy to your ceremony. If you would like to write your own vows, you should first meet with your officiant to find out what must be legally kept in the ceremony, and what you can write yourself. It is a good idea to make a list of what you would both like to say to your family and friends about your relationship and future life together, your hopes and dreams. You may want to say something about your feelings for each other, your views on commitment and trust, or simply read a poem.

A.  Dear Sharon,
As you seem to like the camping trip idea, why not consider another less time-consuming activity like this?  The guys might like to do some other 'male-bonding' activities like sky-diving, go-kart racing or white-water rafting.  Although this may turn out to be a little more expensive than a stripper, it will be sure to get his heart racing before that walk up the aisle!

A.  Dear Lynne,

The general rule is that guests should follow the lead of the key men at the wedding.  So, if the groom is wearing black tie, guests should follow his example.  As the wedding will be held at 6pm it is highly doubtful that the guests will have time to change into evening wear after the ceremony anyway.  If you would like to be sure, find out what the groom or best man will be wearing and you can then rest easy!